Shattered Rose
by FoxSpirit
Summary: How will Kurama react to the death of the most important person to him?


My first YYH fic, centered around Shiori's death (she is Kurama's mother). It's told through Kurama's point of view, and what's going through his mind at that time. I'm using Hello by Evanescence (hehe Evanescence again), hopefully you'll all like it ^_^. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or stop it here yet, and I know roses can't shatter by the way. Please read and review!

*I do now own Yu Yu Hakusho or Hello*

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_playground school bell rings again  
rain clouds come to play again  
has no one told you she's not breathing?  
hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to  
hello_

Can I save her? I have before...the mirror spared her, but only for this short time? Hiei told me to run, to come quickly, something horrible had happened to her. He had said that he was sorry, even he wasn't there in time to protect her. We shouldn't have had to protect her. No, she had no enemies. This wound was meant for me, and me alone. She should have been spared. Hiei said she was still breathing...I can still save her. I have to, how can I let go of the most important thing in my life?

My heart is pounding. I'm pushing my limits farther then I have ever done before. I'm scared...so terrified of what's waiting for me. My mind starts to drift...thinking of what could happen, what may have already happened. She's all right, I will be able to save her. But what if I'm too late? What could I do then...no, I can't think about that. Yet I can't help that my mind resides on that outcome. I can picture it in my mind...so vivid...so real it frightens me. I can see her...lying there, motionless.

A drop landed on my cheek, snapping me out of the unnerving trance. These damn clouds. Why must it start raining now? I don't need this. My mind brings that image back up, and I shake my head violently. I can't think that way!

There's the clearing where Hiei said he would be, where she would be. It's raining harder now, the drops of water are blinding it's raining so hard. My clothes feel heavier and crimson streaks are falling in front of my eyes. I brush away my hair carelessly as I pass the final tree before the clearing and stop dead in my tracks. Hiei looks up at me for just a second then turns away...then I see her...

She's on the ground, her body is unnaturally still. I'm panting, my mouth is hanging open is disbelief. I look over to Hiei, he knows what's going on. He must have sensed my stare, he was already looking towards me...shaking his head. I won't believe it, I have to see for myself. When I reached her I dropped to my knees and picked her up gently and slowly. Her eyes barely cracked open and her voice was so soft it was almost impossible to hear. She said she loved me, her voice fading even farther into nothing with every syllable. Her eyes cloud over a bit, then fall out completely.

Yusuke and the others are here. I could hear Keiko gasp at my mother's body. How can I blame her? These...demons...defaced her so horribly. Her blood is staining the grass around us so far away. All of this torture on an innocent woman just to pain me? Yusuke walked up to me, and put his hand on my shoulder. He said he was sorry that this had to happen, to her of all people. The storm's rain hid the sea of tears that was flowing from my eyes...I had really lost her.

_if I smile and don't believe  
soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
don't try to fix me I'm not broken  
hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide  
don't cry_

This has to be a dream, God please let it be just that. I want to wake up from this nightmare. It hurts, this loss is searing marks in my heart. The cold yokai part of me is gone, replaced by the crying sad boy mourning his mother's death. I feel like I'm dying. They, my friends, are trying to comfort me. The girls are weeping for her, but not like I am.

Someone is telling me I must put her body down, I can't tell who anymore. I'm not sure that I care, the voices are so muffled. I can't go on without her, or with this guilt. I don't want to leave her here. Why does it have to be this way? I would have died in her place without a second thought. Now I feel like I would be better off dying with her.

I must have muttered that, Yusuke told me not to talk like that. They say it'll get better, but how can it if you lose the most important person in your life to demons out for revenge on _you_. Nothing will every fix that. No amount of time will mend these wounds, not when all that you have to heal with is your precious memories.

Those memories are sweetest of anything left in the ruins of my mind. Her soft demeanor, gentle touch. So self sacrificing...ever since that day she saved me I've given her a jar of rose popery every month. There was such a sweet scent from her every morning I woke up and greeted her. Now I'll never get to wake up to her again. Roses always brought me comfort...just like her. Now she's broken and gone...she's a shattered rose. Despite how graphic these memories are, they are nothing more then a veil to shield my eyes, a lie to give me comfort.

_suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
hello I'm still here   
all that's left of yesterday_

Yusuke snaps me out of my reminiscing by telling me we have to get out of the rain. I'm still petrified with the sorrowful stare. I can feel the others helping me up, I'm still holding my mother's limp body. They prop me up as we start walking towards Koenma's place. Tears are still streaming out of my eyes. I know the truth, I realize what has happened. I just don't want to admit it.

My mother is gone, it's not a dream. I'll never wake up from this nightmare because it is real. I can't fight it anymore, even though I don't know how I'll combat my despair. The demons who did this should learn soon that I've already vowed my revenge on them, but right now all I can do is try to endure it and never let go of yesterdays memories. 


End file.
